There Will Be Goals

Following the recent dismissal of the coaching staff in Portland, GM "Mad Dog" Morrison has again entered the trading fray with the Oscar-inspired battle cry, "There Will Be Goals". Morrison pulled the trigger on a couple of big name "rental-player" deals, bringing in a coveted playmaker, Paul Kariya, from Vancouver to patrol the left side for Mike Modano and followed that up by getting a another speedy playmaker and finisher in Martin St. Louis, from New England.

"We're getting pretty frustrated here in Portland with the lack of offensive production from the guys. I couldn't figure out whether it was just the coaching or just the players. So guess what. I changed them both!" blustered Morrison. "We went out in the summer and spent big bucks to bolster the roster with defensive minded players who have offensive upside but we just weren't getting results in the coach's system. We're tired of losing close games so we felt we had to change the mix and the system."

"We gave up Stu Barnes and Steve Staios to get Kariya. Financially that's a wash but it gives us a significant offensive kick in the ass, and that's what we need. For St. Louis we gave up a significant roster guy in Lehtinen who brings it at both ends of the rink and our 2009 1st Rounder, but St. Louis is proven guy who logs a ton of minutes and can't help but make us more of an offensive threat. So, yeah, there will be goals!"

It remains to be seen if the Winter Hawks can keep enough pucks out of their own net for this offensive uplift to make the difference in wins and losses and whether Portland will be deemed to have paid too high a price for short term uplift.

"Now I need to find a new Coach to take the reins. For now, I'll get behind the bench myself and see first hand how these guys interact. If we need to make more changes, we will. The fans here are tired of waiting and so am I. It is time for these guys to put up some "W"s.